Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Mommy Blogging- You Got a Problem With That?

Since I began blogging, I've questioned the "mommy blog" label. Sure, I am a mom. But I write about my career and professional frustrations. Nary a diaper or baby food tossing post here! Oh, no Sir-ee. This is a bonafide career woman blog.

But, recently, as Danger's second birthday approaches, I have been torn with wanting to share a personal side, but not wanting to blur the lines and potentially compromise my professional reputation. And then I thought, WTF. I mean this is my blog after all. (And I a pretty sure my 5 readers will get over a momentary lapse.)

So, here goes. My first mommy blog. If you are looking for sarcastic social media musings, check back later. If you are looking for professional success stories, hit me up for some case studies. But for now, I am feeling blurry.

I looked forward to the day we found out Danger's gender from the split second I peed on that stick. Hubby and I looked through teary eyes at the screen as the doctor went through his ultrasound checks and measurements trying patiently not to scream "ALRIGHT already!" That's when the doctor frowned. That's when he found the abnormality. There was something wrong with her feet. Yes, "her" feet. It's a girl! And there is something wrong with her.

Two hours later after an immediate amnio, we left the office thinking less about pink bedding patterns and more about infant mortality.

The longest ten days of my life later we received the good news: It's not one of the dreaded syndromes. And the bad news: It's a rare chromosomal deletion with only 4 cases on record all of whom have additional disorders and severe disabilities. We were advised to expect the worse. We were given pictures of potential deformities and contacts for late term abortion clinics.

We decided to name her Danger. (Middle name of course, we're not crazy).

It didn't happen in a split second and I can't quite recall exactly when I changed. But, at some point I started feeling courageous, empowered, resilient. These are not the typical adjectives I would use to describe Yours Truly pre-Danger. In fact, emotional, klutsy and irrationally curious are the top to come to mind. Nevertheless, I earned my PhD in Google research and braced myself for the upcoming challenges.

Danger was born premature with a feeding problem and three holes in her heart. Her lung collapsed her 3rd day in the NICU. She's had three stomach surgeries, one foot surgery and spent her first 6 months in toe to heel casts. She wore corrective shoes and a hip brace for several months. She has 4 therapists whom she sees three times a week. And until a few weeks ago, she had a feeding tube.

Now before you get all weepy, you should know that she starts nursery school on Friday. "Normal" kid school. With no tube (she devours some edamame) and her shoes are fancy-pants pink tennies bought from a posh Uptown boutique.

By all accounts she is "normal." Except that she will always be ours and hence never really "normal." Because it turns out that despite all the attention we gave to the long arm of chromosome 2, all of those other genes she adopted from Hubby and me are pretty strong. They might even potentially outweigh that one that got messed up. For better or worse, that includes the klutz gene, the curiosity gene, the spoiled gene and thankfully my newly discovered empowered, resilient and courageous genes.

So, there you have it. I am a mommy blogger. And proud to be in the company if they will have me. I am also a wife, professional, community activist, art lover, voracious reader and proud owner of two cats. I like butter. I hate exercise. I have no idea what my favorite color is. And, PS I am a lactard.

Bye bye, box. Hello, big picture. Welcome to my Not So Doris Days: full disclosure.

*Oh, God. What have I done? Press publish. Quick!*


The Keith family said...

Good for you and thank you for this. It touched my (professional/mommy-)heart 'en direct'.

Diane said...

I have to admit, social media isn't really my bag. But I love blogs and couldn't resist following one by someone I know. Almost all the blogs I follow are Mommy-blogs and I always hoped we might see a little more of Danger here. Thanks for sharing your story. She's sounds like quite an exceptional little girl with quite a courageous mommy! And congrats on nearing the 2 year mark tube-free and entering "normal" kid school!

Miss Midwesterly said...

look, the reality is, being a mommy is a critical part of who you are. i'm sure it influences all of your decisions, in some way, shape, and form--and, as you mention above, it has made you Brave.
doris day, eatcher heart out.