Have you hugged your computer today?

To all the computers in my life...

I have been taking you for granted. I toss you in a bag and throw you in the backseat with little regard. I roll my eyes and mutter hateful things when you don't accommodate my need to have 63 tabs open. I eat toast with reckless abandonment, carelessly dropping crumbs on your keyboard.

I owe the World of 100 for this graphic and knocking to me to my entitled senses. It's incredible how differently things look when put into a smaller perspective. I now fully understand how privileged and lucky I am to have you in my life, computers.

XOXO- Tiff

Team Starnes Needs Your Support!

You have undoubtedly heard me make mention of TribeCon recently. Probably several times. OK, let's face it it's all I talk about! But, just in case you haven't heard about it, you can find all the details on the site or Facebook Page.

But, this isn't about just about TribeCon. This is about a little healthy competition between myself and my co-producer Chris Schultz. See, Chris made these really awesome high quality videos promoting the conference. They are really nice. And I don't care at all that I don't have any glossy videos myself. Because see, I am all about the grassroots, authentic gritty truth. Which is the only reason I posted my own videos. It wasn't about competition at all. Really.

But then he kept posting those fancy videos. And before I knew it, in a fierce fit of competitiveness, I challenged him to sell more tickets than I could. Loser has to perform an embarrassing act of the onstage prior to the TribeCon keynote. Thing is though, Schultz has like 5 million Followers and a "real" blog that people actually read. So, I am basically screwed.

But, before admitting defeat and practicing my "I'm a little teapot" dance. I am going to give it a shot. And I need your help. Even if you aren't a geeky tech Twitter freak. Please make me look popular and save some face! At the very least help me talk some smack on Facebook.

So, if you buy a ticket to TribeCon, enter the code "Starnes" for a 25% discount. If you don't buy a ticket, at least join the Facebook page and add smileys to everything I say.

Mommy Blogging- You Got a Problem With That?

Since I began blogging, I've questioned the "mommy blog" label. Sure, I am a mom. But I write about my career and professional frustrations. Nary a diaper or baby food tossing post here! Oh, no Sir-ee. This is a bonafide career woman blog.

But, recently, as Danger's second birthday approaches, I have been torn with wanting to share a personal side, but not wanting to blur the lines and potentially compromise my professional reputation. And then I thought, WTF. I mean this is my blog after all. (And I a pretty sure my 5 readers will get over a momentary lapse.)

So, here goes. My first mommy blog. If you are looking for sarcastic social media musings, check back later. If you are looking for professional success stories, hit me up for some case studies. But for now, I am feeling blurry.

I looked forward to the day we found out Danger's gender from the split second I peed on that stick. Hubby and I looked through teary eyes at the screen as the doctor went through his ultrasound checks and measurements trying patiently not to scream "ALRIGHT already!" That's when the doctor frowned. That's when he found the abnormality. There was something wrong with her feet. Yes, "her" feet. It's a girl! And there is something wrong with her.

Two hours later after an immediate amnio, we left the office thinking less about pink bedding patterns and more about infant mortality.

The longest ten days of my life later we received the good news: It's not one of the dreaded syndromes. And the bad news: It's a rare chromosomal deletion with only 4 cases on record all of whom have additional disorders and severe disabilities. We were advised to expect the worse. We were given pictures of potential deformities and contacts for late term abortion clinics.

We decided to name her Danger. (Middle name of course, we're not crazy).

It didn't happen in a split second and I can't quite recall exactly when I changed. But, at some point I started feeling courageous, empowered, resilient. These are not the typical adjectives I would use to describe Yours Truly pre-Danger. In fact, emotional, klutsy and irrationally curious are the top to come to mind. Nevertheless, I earned my PhD in Google research and braced myself for the upcoming challenges.

Danger was born premature with a feeding problem and three holes in her heart. Her lung collapsed her 3rd day in the NICU. She's had three stomach surgeries, one foot surgery and spent her first 6 months in toe to heel casts. She wore corrective shoes and a hip brace for several months. She has 4 therapists whom she sees three times a week. And until a few weeks ago, she had a feeding tube.

Now before you get all weepy, you should know that she starts nursery school on Friday. "Normal" kid school. With no tube (she devours some edamame) and her shoes are fancy-pants pink tennies bought from a posh Uptown boutique.

By all accounts she is "normal." Except that she will always be ours and hence never really "normal." Because it turns out that despite all the attention we gave to the long arm of chromosome 2, all of those other genes she adopted from Hubby and me are pretty strong. They might even potentially outweigh that one that got messed up. For better or worse, that includes the klutz gene, the curiosity gene, the spoiled gene and thankfully my newly discovered empowered, resilient and courageous genes.

So, there you have it. I am a mommy blogger. And proud to be in the company if they will have me. I am also a wife, professional, community activist, art lover, voracious reader and proud owner of two cats. I like butter. I hate exercise. I have no idea what my favorite color is. And, PS I am a lactard.

Bye bye, box. Hello, big picture. Welcome to my Not So Doris Days: full disclosure.

*Oh, God. What have I done? Press publish. Quick!*

Six Degrees of Serendipity

Let me tell you a story. I am pretty sure it has a point, so bear with me.

ser·en·dip·i·ty

1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.
2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries.
3. An instance of making such a discovery.

I was talking on the phone with my friend Sloane. We were actually talking business, but as usual, we meandered onto the topic of community, something we both hold dear. We talked about the importance of being positive and not getting distracted by tools douchebags people who use social media solely to boost their own egos. She told me about the Art of Non-conformity and how there is a community of like-minded travelers she has found via Twitter that keep her inspired. We discussed the ability to find mentors, inspiration even , dare I say boyfriends. *my lips are sealed*

This got me thinking about my Twitter mentors. The people who I rely on to keep me focused. The first person who really inspired me was Gwen Bell. She has a nurturing positive attitude that makes you feel like your safely snuggled in a big fluffy blanket with a cup of hot cocoa and a best girlfriend. And then there is Lisa Barone. She is a foul-mouthed feisty vixen who knocks down pedestals faster than you can say F**k you, Goliath!

In a weird twist of fate, that very morning while I was talking to my social media crossed buddy, the planets aligned and...Gwen Bell was a featured guest writer on Lisa Barone's agency blog! Creepy right? All this cosmic hippy dippy kismet action.

I was feeling all warm and fuzzy when I hung up the phone. Lighter. More positive. It occurred to me how amazing it is that we met, communicate and plan future collaborations all because of social media. And as I am musing on this, I look down at the page where I had doodled The Art of Non Conformity and make a point to look it up.

But first, I needed to comment on that post. You know the "Lisa Baronne & Gwen Bell are buds and that's just so appropriate in a weird way because I kind of stalk them both" post. The post announcing this:

Hi, I’m Gwen Bell and I’m an entrepreneur. Today is the launch date of my latest co-created venture, along with Chris Guillebeau from The Art of Nonconformity. The name of our project is The Unconventional Guide to the Social Web.

Gwen Bell announcing on Lisa Barone's site that she is working with my gal Sloane's like-minded traveling do-gooder Chris Guillebea. Dots connected.

Karma? Kismet? Nah. Social media allows people who have something in common to connect and share and listen from across the cubicle or across the world. And I can't help wondering who I will meet today.

Don't be a Tool. Be a Crafstman.

Let me ask you something. Would you trust a contractor who shows up for a job with only one tool? Let's say a hammer. No level, no wood saw. Just a hammer. But, to be fair, it is a very shiny hammer. And all of the cool contractors are using it. To be completely honest I don't know a drill from a wrench so I am probably not one to be giving you advice on shiny hammer guy. But I do know a little bit about social media and the most successful efforts require a strategic mix of tools and tactics. And each tool is different depending on your client's goals. Yep, I said goals. Let's take a second to discuss goals.

Client: I want 1000 Facebook Fans!

Clear goal. Easily qualified metric. If the client gets 1000 followers, that is a social media success, right? Well, before you break out the champagne, consider what those followers mean to your client's business and bottom line. If you can't answer that then you don't have a real life business goal. So how can you even begin crafting a strategy or marketing plan?

But, your client really, really, really wants to be on Facebook!

Well, I wouldn't tell my contractor what drill bit to use. I trust that he will choose the appropriate tool to get the job done. And as a social media marketer it is my responsibility to understand my craft and all of the tools at my disposal. So that when a litigation specialist asks for a Facebook Page, I can gently inform her that well, it's not likely anyone will "like" Chinese dry wall litigation. But, depending on what she wants to accomplish, I bet I can use my keen listening skills (aka bionic ears, thanks Tom Martin) to find someone else out there who is talking about it. And then together we will figure out the best tool to reach them.

Hot for Teacher

I'd like to buy the world a Coke. And then teach them how to TwitPic it, upload to Flikr, YouTube & Vimeo and share with a friend on Facebook.

I am rabidly obsessed eager to teach everything I know about Social Media to anyone and everyone who will listen. This prompted a friend of mine to ask "Aren't you making yourself obsolete if you teach everyone to do what you do?"

First of all let's remember that Twitter is 140 characters followed by a big "UPDATE" button. If my ultimate talent was Twittering, I'd be in pretty big trouble.

Secondly, the entire premise of social media is the ability to have authentic real-time conversations. The most appropriate person to own and publish that "authentic" voice and personality is therefore the client himself. Ironic that Web 2.0 makes the customer/ brand relationship personal again.

There is no longer a need for carefully crafted content held tightly to the chest until it is "released " upon the public through professionally recommended media outlets. These days anyone can create and broadcast content. The gates are open and the gatekeepers better start looking for a different line of work. Brian Solis does a great job explaining this revolution (he even gives away some resources...for FREE).

"The socialization of the Web and content publishing disrupted the balance and is now forcing a media renaissance that is transforming information distribution, human interaction and everything that orbits this nascent ecosystem."

That said, the shifting communications paradigm does not make marketing and communications specialists obsolete. But it does change the way we look at the purchase cycle and define and sell to our best customer. *Gasp* Did she say SELL? Damn, right I did. All this talk of conversations and discussions sometimes neglects that the ultimate goal for most companies is to make a profit.

This is not a dirty scheme. As long as you are upfront about your product and have something of worth to sell, there is likely someone out there who is interested in buying. Say for example you sell comfortable eco-friendly flip flops with a triple bottom line business ethic. Eco-bloggers, philanthropy advocates, crunchy granola folks- there are a ton of people who would be interested in that product. And there are a ton who wouldn't. According to a recent NY Times article this is a prime opportunity for PR folks to find their niche and develop valuable relationships.

"P.R. is important because it’s pretty intensive to figure out who [the power users] are."-Donna Sokolsky Burke, co-founder of Spark PR

So, consider me your Social Media GPS. Vetting and identifying appropriate communities is something I love doing. It takes time, honesty and a certain stalker quality. (Remember in that last paragraph when I said "valuable" relationships. If not, go straight to jail. Do not collect $200 and certainly do not read the next sentence. You will never understand it). It also requires the ability to and interest in listening. Once you find your target's lair, it's not pounce time. It's not time to spam the community with "Look at Me" display ads and guerrilla forum postings. It's not about you.

That's right. Once again SoMe does not stand
for "So...let me tell you all about Me". It's about listening, participating and giving. So go buy someone a Coke. And then listen. Even if they don't sing in perfect harmony. Because once you know them a little better you can recommend a voice coach.

LPTV- An Ode to Old White Guys

This went off on old white guys. Again. And now I am officially over it.

PS This super special extra flattering thumbnail is an added bonus. I promise I'm not drunk. No. Really.