Mother's Day Can #suckit

To begin with, let me state for the record things I do not want to do on Mother's Day. Or any other day for that matter:

1. Wake up at 6:45am. (Not a morning person)
2. Eat at Olive Garden (Goes without saying)
3. Install a carseat (while running an hour an a half late to an event)

So, this Mother's Day wasn't all bubble baths and breakfast in bed. But, to be honest Hubby and I have never really been big on the Hallmark Holidays. Nonetheless, I was just a wee bit bitter at 7am as he rested peacefully in bed* while I fed Danger (read: got cottage cheese thrown in my hair). My bitterness quickly evaporated as it always does after a strong cup of coffee. And Mother's Day evolved into a comedy of errors that ultimately ended in a wonderful evening with close friends.

But, this is less about my Mother's Day. This is about another mother whom I have never met. Never spoken to. Never had even the slightest contact with other than a stream in my Twitter feed for the past many years.


I don't know @queenofspain. To confess, I rarely catch her Tweets these days in the onslaught of information. Prior to my first BlogHer in 2006, I signed on to Twitter as a way to understand exactly what this social media thing was really all about. I began by following a handful of smart, snarky and utterly hilarious women. And I got hooked. Throughout the years this handful was a lifeline during a difficult pregnancy and even more difficult 1st year with Danger. These women validated my crazy.

In more recent years, Twitter has morphed into more of a professional resource. The personal interactions I have are largely with the same circle of people and I filtered myself to sanity at the cost of losing touch with some of those early moms that I valued the most. The ones who completely unknowingly held my hand across the world wide web. Now, just to be clear, none of these women can be wrapped us as just "moms." Erin Kotecki Vest is a political power house and I probably subconsciously avoid her stream to protect myself from feelings of civic inadequacy. She is solely responsible for introducing me to one of my most favorite hashtags ever. #suckit But, today, on Mother's Day, she is above all an inspirational mom.

Every so often, while I am waiting for the coffee to brew or stuck in traffic, I'll scroll through my Twitter stream. And this morning I saw this:

What follows throughout the day is a chronicle of a pretty crappy Mother's Day, not to mention a painful and scary health crisis. OK, so, I don't know this person. But I was compelled to follow her narrative. I was inspired by the raw honesty

the mom's protectiveness

the ability to laugh even when stuck in a hospital hall for hours

and mostly by the bond she shares with her husband. As they exchange banter he is at times protective

and witty. (I can sooo see Hubby tweeting this while I am hooked to an IV writhing in pain)


So, there were times when I thought to myself, "Why the hell are you Tweeting??? Put the phone down and rest!" But then I realized that I was fully reading all of these Tweets. So, what the hell is wrong with me that I am following the personal details of a life I know nothing about? Does that make me a freaky voyeur stalker? Her a Twitter addict who shares way too much?

Honestly, some might say so. But, not me. In the midst of my whacky Mother's Day, I found inspiration and humor (and a touch of humility) as another woman's day unfolded in time with mine. Little did this stranger know that hundreds of miles away I was commiserating and laughing and remembering why I got hooked on this Twitter thing in the first place. It connects me to people I've yet to meet who give me a swift kick in the ass for wallowing in my Olive Garden snootiness. And stories that captivate my attention because they inspire, validate and reflect the strong, snarky and honest woman I aspire to be. A woman who in the midst of calamity can find perspective and is brave enough to share it with a gal like me.

Thank you, Erin. Happy Mother's Day.

* Hubby 100% deserved to sleep after pulling a 4:30AM shift, having lunch with my family, soothing our tantrum throwing toddler and then rushing to a tasting for the restaurant he is days away from opening. To hell with Mother's Day and Father's Day. It's Parents' Day every day in our life.

The Anti- Authoritarian Management Paradox

What happens when someone who notoriously questions The Man finds themselves becoming The Man...or Woman? Yours Truly is a very important Director of a quickly growing social media department. Yep. It says so on my cards. That's why I command respect. Or do I?

Not long ago my department consisted of just me. Then came the first new hire. As with all new jobs, there is a learning curve. So, when this new hire was faced with a question she couldn't answer she knew exactly where to turn. She looked over at me sitting in my powerful desk where I sat in benevolence, ready to offer my sage wisdom. She asked the caller to please hold while she consulted her..."other person."

Not co-worker. Not colleague. Definitely not manager, much less "My Director." Hey, I've got over 10 years experience with nationally regarded agencies under my belt and I have just doubled my department, so clearly I should expect this recent college graduate to cow-tow to me, the Big Boss Lady, right? Yeah, not so much.

The hierarchy of titles and traditional flow chart management systems doesn't necessarily translate to social media. That is not to say that there isn't process and accountability, but it's a new industry and new rules apply. Social media is in its infancy and nobody has the playbook for success. Even the most "seasoned" social media professionals have only been using Facebook and Twitter for a few years. And success in is not about a two year history of crafting 140 characters or gaining 400 Fans in 10 days. There are bots for that.

Instead of focusing on titles, focus on talent. I came across My Other Person forwarded me a recent post defining the 9 types of of "Social Media Expert." The post identifies several skill sets and competencies that are needed in social media, and also notes:

"You might be tempted to read into this post that there are certain types of experts that are more valid than any others, but except for the first type I strongly believe that each has an important role to play as organizations and businesses of all sizes get smarter about how and when to use social media. "

Wait a minute, this guy is claiming that updating a Facebook status is equally as valid as strategic development? C'mon, maintaining a reputation across the myriad of social networks is tedious work. Much better suited for a lower level employee. It's easy to craft 140 characters. So easy, in fact, that you could relegate it to an intern from your local high school. Or, why not create a bot that could potentially alienate your most loyal customer with 140 characters of offensive or superficial content that can go public with the push of a button.

I bet there is a bot that would call me boss. Repeatedly. Every time I used a specifically calculated keyword it would replicate an auto-generated message of deference to my superiority. Tempting. But, instead, I will continue to seek out smart, talented and opinionated people who will better my department. People who know that while curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought her back. People who get a little bit ga ga about Google. And people who question everything. Especially The Man. Even if that man is me.

Footnote:
Dear Future Employees,
Do not mistake this as a hippie dippy commune BS management style. Yours Truly is a hard ass with extremely high expectations. And so is my Other Person.

What I learned at SXSW...yet another one

Him: (eyeing my SXSW "panelist" badge) I believe I met with your company's European branch on my last trip to London.

Me: (torn between disbelief, laughter or a swift kick to the groin) I think you have me confused with someone else.

No London office. No private jet. No holier than thou attitude. Just little old me...about to kick your VIP self in the groin.

Before leaving for Austin I wrote about being on the fence about SXSW this year. I am seeing this echoed across the blogosphere. Looks like SXSW could be jumping the shark, making room for more intimate focused grassroots conferences to emerge (eh, hem TribeCon, cough cough). But to quote Marc Nathan I'm not jumping on the ‘down with SXSW bandwagon.'

While I wasn't as fulfilled or inspired as last year, it was a valuable learning experience. A few lessons:

1. Intimacy trumps Popularity: Cool cliques are what you make them. Screw the lines and the lists. Find like minds and congregate. The best party I attended was the NOLA party. The second best was when I led our group of 15 peeps into an empty bar- not a popular decision, mind you- and started a pretty spectacular dance party. All we needed was us. Getting wrapped on on finding the party ruins the party.

2. Focus, grasshopper: Crowded management sessions show that more folks are trying to harness creativity and social media in a measurable efficient way. Process is the new black. Forget followers. (There's a bot for that.) Focus on fundamentals like strategy, goals and accountability.

3. Take this job and love it: I love my job. My clients are the bomb. And one of the greatest things about social media is the ability to even the playing field and pin point opportunity for the little guys to win big. And maybe even stick it to the man.

Speaking of which, what happens when you are the man? How does an anti-establishment instigator create an establishment? Now, that's what I want to learn- management skills for people with problems with authority. I hope SXSW is listening.

SXSW: South By South Wasted?

Confession: I have been on the fence about going back to SXSW this year. Hearing it referred to as SXSpringBreak this afternoon didn't help much. Obviously, it doesn't bolster the matrimonial bliss to have Hubby think I am heading to some hedonistic romp to get crazy naked drunk...at least not without him. But, more importantly, it makes me question the value proposition that I am sacrificing several days of Danger time for.

Last year was a magical experience. I was on the cusp of a new endeavor and surrounded by a bunch of rabble rousing idealists who felt we were making a difference and leaving our mark. I was also naive and admittedly easy impressed by shiny objects. The past 12 months have taught me some hard lessons in looking past the smoke and mirrors to critically assess the BS hidden beneath some big red bows. And, I am savvy enough to know that I can download recycled presentations from conference circuit keynotes on Slideshare without any travel expenses or hefty entrance fee. I might not get a chance to shake hands with Twitterati. My loss.


Don't get me wrong. I am honored to be a part of the New Orleans tech crew taking the city by storm. And my ego is through the roof at being part of a SXSW panel. Not to mention, my schedule is double and triple booked with panels that I am excited to see. Where I look forward to learning something, multiple new things that I can bring back to enhance FSC. Which brings me to the question- Is SXSW still the place to learn from the best of the best?

I've seen some pretty stellar things happening at small grassroots conferences across the country- Big Omaha, Social South and even my little baby TribeCon. Conference that are low on glitz but big on substance. Low on corporate sponsors but big on community. Low on douchebaggery and big on authenticity.

It's no big secret that I kind of like sticking it to the man and rallying for the little guy. Maybe I am just being jaded. It wouldn't be the first time. I promise not to judge or make assumptions based purely on what could just be a successful growth model. I am hoping to have an incredible and magical experience. In fact, I am betting a lost weekend with my favorite people on it. Not a trifling wager.

What do you think? What are some of the reasons you are or aren't going to SXSW?

PS. Be forewarned, Mr. "un-popular in high school and making up for it on Twitter" douchebag person, what happens at SXSW does not in fact stay at SXSW. It perpetuates a swarmy and silly misrepresentation that discredits the merit of the conference. And if you ruin SXSW for me, and for the hundreds of others who are hoping for more than networking with the beautiful people, I will be angry.

I am a Kool-Aidaholic

My name is Tiffany. And I drank the Kool Aid.

Most recently it was the social media Kool Aid. But it goes back a lot further, starting with a junior high discovery of the Sex Pistols. I bought every album. I covered my walls in posters. I died my hair purple, bought combat boots, safety pinned my torn t-shirts and memorized every word of Sid & Nancy. I was punk drunk.

I can't remember all of the flavors and varieties that have since sent me reeling. (Which is probably for the best) This isn't to say that I am fickle, floating about from one shiny object to the next. I've been hooked on some for years. In fact, as a professional bartender, Hubby's is a particularly intoxicating blend that I plan to imbibe in copious amounts for years to come. Because not all Kool Aid is bad. So, how can you tell? That's a question I have been pondering a lot lately.

I am admittedly overzealous by nature, but I think that there a few factors that propel me into dizzy sugary gluttony:

- Peer pressure. I am a glutton for approval.
- The urge to belong. Who doesn't want to find a community of like-minded people?
- An innate passion and enthusiasm for the Kool Aid at hand. This is where it gets tricky.

I am a passionate and enthusiastic person. I get caught up. I get excited. But for every Hubby there are a thousand Sex Pistols. Don't follow? For every good flavor that will sustain you for years to come, there is another that will ultimately leave you with a bad case of heartburn.

I've decided on a few rules of thumb to keep myself in check and avoid sleepless nights.

1. Read the Ingredients
On the back of that Punk Rock Kool Aid package are a bunch of ingredients that still appeal to me. Non-conformity, rebellious spirit, questioning authority, propensity toward profanity, etc... But there are even more that don't. Anarchy, nihilism, loud noise, disdain for yuppie middle America. Turns out that while I will always identify with a certain counter culture ideology, those aren't the traits that define me. My high concentration ingredients don't match up.

2. Sip. Don't Gulp.
Oh, moderation, you cruel beast. I am more of the "Gimme more! Gimme more! Nom, nom, nom." excessive type. Screw the sample cup, I'll take a gallon. But, if you gulp, you miss the nuances of each individual ingredients, both good and bad. And I find myself asking, what's the rush? Slow down. Savor the flavor.

3. Step Away from the Spokesmodel.
Who doesn't love the Kool Aid Man? He's smiley. He's friendly and fun. And...he has no depth. He's a mascot. Over the past 75 years he's changed dramatically to suit the current trends. He shifts based on popular consumer opinion-likely sourced from shopping mall focus groups. Basically, he is a cleverly crafted character created to manipulate you into buying what he is selling. Think used car salesman, but with cartoon charisma. Ah, charisma. I am a sucker for charisma. Flash me grin, give me a compliment and I will gladly buy your neon orange Pinto. Did I say "will?" I meant "would." The jig is up. Go sell crazy elsewhere.

4. Serve to Friends.
Best case scenario, your BFF loves it, asks for a crate and you blissfully discover yet another common interest. But, if BFF takes one sip and spits it out, take note. Now, defend away. To each her own. By no means succumb to peer pressure. It's true that some things are worth fighting for. But, if you find yourself regularly fighting your trusted circle, you have to think that maybe they have a point. Step outside of the fishbowl and get some feedback. It will help you hone in on the faults in your arguments and potential save you from hazardous allergic reactions.

5. Create Your Own Ratio
I love me some social media Kool Aid. Bring on the pitcher! But lately, I've noticed that high concentration leads to negative side effects, so I am tweaking the formula. One part professional, one part personal, then dilute. Don't be afraid to mix. A dash of Sex Pistols here, a dash of Community there. Variety is the spice of life and you might stumble upon an incredible new combination.

So, there you have it. My shopper beware Kool Aid guidelines. Posted mostly entirely to keep Yours Truly from making poor decisions. Added Bonus: I am now comfortable knowing that I have triumphantly beat a metaphor into submission.

Cheers!

*Gulp* (Damn. Baby steps.)

Have you hugged your computer today?

To all the computers in my life...

I have been taking you for granted. I toss you in a bag and throw you in the backseat with little regard. I roll my eyes and mutter hateful things when you don't accommodate my need to have 63 tabs open. I eat toast with reckless abandonment, carelessly dropping crumbs on your keyboard.

I owe the World of 100 for this graphic and knocking to me to my entitled senses. It's incredible how differently things look when put into a smaller perspective. I now fully understand how privileged and lucky I am to have you in my life, computers.

XOXO- Tiff

Six Degrees of Serendipity

Let me tell you a story. I am pretty sure it has a point, so bear with me.

ser·en·dip·i·ty

1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.
2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries.
3. An instance of making such a discovery.

I was talking on the phone with my friend Sloane. We were actually talking business, but as usual, we meandered onto the topic of community, something we both hold dear. We talked about the importance of being positive and not getting distracted by tools douchebags people who use social media solely to boost their own egos. She told me about the Art of Non-conformity and how there is a community of like-minded travelers she has found via Twitter that keep her inspired. We discussed the ability to find mentors, inspiration even , dare I say boyfriends. *my lips are sealed*

This got me thinking about my Twitter mentors. The people who I rely on to keep me focused. The first person who really inspired me was Gwen Bell. She has a nurturing positive attitude that makes you feel like your safely snuggled in a big fluffy blanket with a cup of hot cocoa and a best girlfriend. And then there is Lisa Barone. She is a foul-mouthed feisty vixen who knocks down pedestals faster than you can say F**k you, Goliath!

In a weird twist of fate, that very morning while I was talking to my social media crossed buddy, the planets aligned and...Gwen Bell was a featured guest writer on Lisa Barone's agency blog! Creepy right? All this cosmic hippy dippy kismet action.

I was feeling all warm and fuzzy when I hung up the phone. Lighter. More positive. It occurred to me how amazing it is that we met, communicate and plan future collaborations all because of social media. And as I am musing on this, I look down at the page where I had doodled The Art of Non Conformity and make a point to look it up.

But first, I needed to comment on that post. You know the "Lisa Baronne & Gwen Bell are buds and that's just so appropriate in a weird way because I kind of stalk them both" post. The post announcing this:

Hi, I’m Gwen Bell and I’m an entrepreneur. Today is the launch date of my latest co-created venture, along with Chris Guillebeau from The Art of Nonconformity. The name of our project is The Unconventional Guide to the Social Web.

Gwen Bell announcing on Lisa Barone's site that she is working with my gal Sloane's like-minded traveling do-gooder Chris Guillebea. Dots connected.

Karma? Kismet? Nah. Social media allows people who have something in common to connect and share and listen from across the cubicle or across the world. And I can't help wondering who I will meet today.

Don't be a Tool. Be a Crafstman.

Let me ask you something. Would you trust a contractor who shows up for a job with only one tool? Let's say a hammer. No level, no wood saw. Just a hammer. But, to be fair, it is a very shiny hammer. And all of the cool contractors are using it. To be completely honest I don't know a drill from a wrench so I am probably not one to be giving you advice on shiny hammer guy. But I do know a little bit about social media and the most successful efforts require a strategic mix of tools and tactics. And each tool is different depending on your client's goals. Yep, I said goals. Let's take a second to discuss goals.

Client: I want 1000 Facebook Fans!

Clear goal. Easily qualified metric. If the client gets 1000 followers, that is a social media success, right? Well, before you break out the champagne, consider what those followers mean to your client's business and bottom line. If you can't answer that then you don't have a real life business goal. So how can you even begin crafting a strategy or marketing plan?

But, your client really, really, really wants to be on Facebook!

Well, I wouldn't tell my contractor what drill bit to use. I trust that he will choose the appropriate tool to get the job done. And as a social media marketer it is my responsibility to understand my craft and all of the tools at my disposal. So that when a litigation specialist asks for a Facebook Page, I can gently inform her that well, it's not likely anyone will "like" Chinese dry wall litigation. But, depending on what she wants to accomplish, I bet I can use my keen listening skills (aka bionic ears, thanks Tom Martin) to find someone else out there who is talking about it. And then together we will figure out the best tool to reach them.

Hot for Teacher

I'd like to buy the world a Coke. And then teach them how to TwitPic it, upload to Flikr, YouTube & Vimeo and share with a friend on Facebook.

I am rabidly obsessed eager to teach everything I know about Social Media to anyone and everyone who will listen. This prompted a friend of mine to ask "Aren't you making yourself obsolete if you teach everyone to do what you do?"

First of all let's remember that Twitter is 140 characters followed by a big "UPDATE" button. If my ultimate talent was Twittering, I'd be in pretty big trouble.

Secondly, the entire premise of social media is the ability to have authentic real-time conversations. The most appropriate person to own and publish that "authentic" voice and personality is therefore the client himself. Ironic that Web 2.0 makes the customer/ brand relationship personal again.

There is no longer a need for carefully crafted content held tightly to the chest until it is "released " upon the public through professionally recommended media outlets. These days anyone can create and broadcast content. The gates are open and the gatekeepers better start looking for a different line of work. Brian Solis does a great job explaining this revolution (he even gives away some resources...for FREE).

"The socialization of the Web and content publishing disrupted the balance and is now forcing a media renaissance that is transforming information distribution, human interaction and everything that orbits this nascent ecosystem."

That said, the shifting communications paradigm does not make marketing and communications specialists obsolete. But it does change the way we look at the purchase cycle and define and sell to our best customer. *Gasp* Did she say SELL? Damn, right I did. All this talk of conversations and discussions sometimes neglects that the ultimate goal for most companies is to make a profit.

This is not a dirty scheme. As long as you are upfront about your product and have something of worth to sell, there is likely someone out there who is interested in buying. Say for example you sell comfortable eco-friendly flip flops with a triple bottom line business ethic. Eco-bloggers, philanthropy advocates, crunchy granola folks- there are a ton of people who would be interested in that product. And there are a ton who wouldn't. According to a recent NY Times article this is a prime opportunity for PR folks to find their niche and develop valuable relationships.

"P.R. is important because it’s pretty intensive to figure out who [the power users] are."-Donna Sokolsky Burke, co-founder of Spark PR

So, consider me your Social Media GPS. Vetting and identifying appropriate communities is something I love doing. It takes time, honesty and a certain stalker quality. (Remember in that last paragraph when I said "valuable" relationships. If not, go straight to jail. Do not collect $200 and certainly do not read the next sentence. You will never understand it). It also requires the ability to and interest in listening. Once you find your target's lair, it's not pounce time. It's not time to spam the community with "Look at Me" display ads and guerrilla forum postings. It's not about you.

That's right. Once again SoMe does not stand
for "So...let me tell you all about Me". It's about listening, participating and giving. So go buy someone a Coke. And then listen. Even if they don't sing in perfect harmony. Because once you know them a little better you can recommend a voice coach.

Social Media Stylist

After months of recession hair, I finally got myself to a professional for a long overdue haircut. Now, I have been prone to break out the scissors after a few glasses of wine to "trim" my bangs. It's what I like to call Drunk Styling. Some people call their exes, I add layers. And, while I might think I look pretty good, I always amazed at how much better I look when I leave it to the professionals.

So, while I understand that everyone has access to social media tools, if you want it done well, you will hire a professional. And by professional, I mean someone who makes it their sole responsibility to do something extremely well and with passion and dedication.

Sure, you can create your own Twitter account. You saw how to do it on the Today Show! But then what? How are you going to use it? Who do you hope to connect with? How are you going to track and measure success? More importantly, in an industry that is changing daily- maybe hourly- are you going to devote time to studying best practices, industry trends and standards?

Yes, I know what scissors are. But, I have absolutely no idea what an elevated angulated long layered bob is. (Hint: I don't even think it exists.) That's why I go see Chris at Paris Parker.

So, all you folks out there who want a DIY bowl cut social media strategy. Go for it. And when people point and laugh, you will eventually seek professional help. I'll be waiting. And I promise not to judge.